gonzo1966's Blog

When did the off-field antics of professional athletes become sports news, and why?

My home page contains NFL news from Sports Illustrated and Fox Sports, everyday when I go to the internet the first thing that I see are five headlines listed on each site.

These are four of the five listing on SI.com this morning: “Broncos' Cutler diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes”, “Alleged shooter: Pacman is trying to frame me”, “Former Viking Scott arrested for abuse of child abuse”, “Bush, Giants joke about Jessica Simpson's jinx.” FoxSports.com was a little better with one, “Broncos QB Cutler has diabetes, business manager says”, and one that I’ll call borderline, “Buzz off base vs. blogger at media town hall.” When I go to the SI and Fox Sports’ websites, I see that there is lots of actual NFL news stories. Why aren’t they the stories listed on my home page?

I want to go on record to say first off I think that anybody who abuses a child should go to prison, and I feel for anybody diagnosed with diabetes. But what does that have to do with sports?

Everyday, people are arrested for driving while intoxicated. Why do I care if “Former Tennessee Titans wide receiver Tyrone Calico faces indictment on drunken driving charges”(SI.com)? Drunk driving is a very serious offence, why isn’t there a three-page article about John Smith (I apologize to any John Smith) down the street that was arrested last weekend. Why? Because nobody would read about John’s arrested, not unless he killed somebody. So why is it that we care about Tyrone Calico being arrested or any other professional athlete?

I would again like to say I do not condone criminal activity by anybody, and I do not believe that professional athletes should be granted special treatment, so it is nice to see that at least some law enforcement officers are doing their jobs. What I am saying is that it is not sports news.

I would also like to say that I really do not care who Tom Brady, and Tony Romo are dating. Really, what does that have to do with sports? Is it really a big enough deal that the President has to joke about it with the Super Bowl Champions, and that is what makes the sports headlines?

So lets put the sports back into the sports news. I want to hear about the big plays, the player stats, about the off-season rebuilding and the other real sports new. Leave all the other garbage for People Magazine or the tabloids. Then if I want to hear about it I know where to find it. 

Ok, I don't want to kick a dead horse here. I have already posted a blog with regard to the "Empty Holster" program.

I just have to comment on Eric Thompson's trip to VA Tech. First of all, I think it was in poor taste for him to go there around the time the school is remembering what happen a year ago.

I'm not saying that he is to blame. The shooter could have purchase the firearm from any dealer, it just happened to be him. But nonetheless he should just leave well enough alone. Don't go there a year later and wave your "People have the right to protect themselves" banner. I'm sure he truly believes that, most of us do. But let's look at this fact; he's a gun dealer. 

I saw a story on him Wednesday before he left for VA Tech where he actually pitched his website to the public. Sounds to me like somebody who is just trying to sell more guns, but of course now he wants to sell to people so they can defend themselves.

Let me ask you this Mr. Thompson, how are you going to prevent the next mentally unstable person from purchasing a firearm from you? Instead of pushing for people to carry guns and putting more guns out on the street, why are you not pushing for stronger firearms laws? Could it be because it would affect your business?

Let's check the numbers. Concealed carry hasn't effect squat in places where they allow it. If you want a firearm for protection I'm all for that, just keep it at home. Don't bring it out on the street.

What are you going to do if you shoot an innocent bystander? How would you live with that? What makes you any better than the offender? What, the fact that you were defending yourself? That's something we all should think about before we decide to go back to the old west. Once you kill somebody intentenally or accidentally you can't change it, you can't take that bullet back. YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT!!! Do you want to face their family and try to explain why there loved one is dead? I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

You can have your hunting guns and your home protection weapons. Please just don't bring them into everybody's daily lives. I don't know how long my life will be, but I don't want you out there accidentally killing me because you need to have a gun with you.  

You can disagree with my opinion, but please just don't shoot me.

I was perusing the news over on another stations website (sorry Fox 11, I do that from time to time), and was reading an article about the Empty Holster Program. The Empty Holster Program is donating holsters to college students across the country, and they will wear them during the week of April 20th to protest laws and school policies prohibiting concealed weapons carry by licensed and trained individuals.

Why is the answer always more guns? Licensed? Trained? What does that mean exactly? Will these licensed individuals be required to do monthly training? If so, how many times in a month? Is their training going to consist of combat shooting, or are they going to just shoot static paper targets? Who is providing the training? Are there regulations regarding curriculum, or is everybody going to have different training? I guess before we go arming the public these are some things that I would like to know.

Anybody who thinks that they are trained to use a firearm, especially in a stressful situation where somebody is shooting back, better guess again. I taught firearms to law enforcement officers for years. I can tell you this much, you can teach any idiot to shoot at a paper target. Teaching somebody to shoot under stress is a whole different animal, and you don’t just learn it in one lesson. In order for a person to remain even slightly proficient with a firearm in a combat situation requires they train at the least once every 30 days.  How many of these licensed people are going to do that?

I’m sorry, I think that the last thing we need out there are a bunch of people who think that they are equipped to handle a situation such as the college shootings that have taken place. I think at least 90% of them freeze up after the first shot is fired.

What is the answer? I don’t know, but I can tell you this much, I don’t believe it is having people walking around who are “Licensed To Carry.” I know somebody will wave the right to bare arms banner at me. I think people really need to stop and think about what the right to bare arms was for. It was for a time when men served in the militia and were called upon to defend the country. That’s not what we have here, of course there are those who will say “But we are defending our country.” This may be true to some degree, but it’s still not the same thing.

If they come up with a standardized firearms training for civilians, that is used nationwide, that requires monthly training then maybe I’ll feel different about the issue. Until then I think I’ll just consider wearing Kevlar everywhere I go.

So until we find an answer to the problem, everybody keep your heads down because there will be bullets flying from both sides.    

I would like to discuss an issue today that has been argued in the past. Protesting abortion clinics. Not whether pro-life supporters have the right, but rather the way that they protest.

I have my opinion about abortion, and I do not believe it is right in most cases. I have areas where I do struggle with my beliefs about the issue such as someone who becomes pregnant due to rape, incest or situations of that nature. But my religious beliefs tell me it is wrong. There is a big difference between somebody who is raped and somebody who didn’t use some form of birth control. So to have an abortion to erase poor judgment in my mind is not a valid reason.

This discussion is not about whether you believe it is right or wrong, it is about whether or not the public has to be subjected to the huge pictures that are displayed showing aborted fetuses. Is it really necessary? Do our children have to be subjected to viewing these images? Do adults have to be subjected to it? Don’t I have the right to not see it? Why should somebody’s right to protest override my right not to view these images? It’s not like T.V. where I can change the channel. If somebody stood at the roadside naked supporting nudity they would be arrested. Why? Isn’t it their “Right” to protest having to wear clothes in public? I know the example is totally apples and oranges. But where do we draw the line between violating the right to protest and posting obscene images at the roadside?

As far as adults are concerned I think the abortion issue has been around long enough that we all know what an aborted fetus looks like, so we don’t need to see one posted along the roadside. It’s not going to change the mind of somebody who thinks that abortion is ok. I honestly believe that in cases where somebody may be undecided about abortion it actually prevents him or her from getting the pro-life message. They turn their heads in disgust.

With regard to our children viewing those images, my opinion is this. It is my job as a parent to educate my children about the issue. When I feel the time is right to talk them about it I will. I don’t want to have to explain the abortion photos to my 5year old daughter when she asks me about them. I don’t think this is the point in her life where I need to explain abortion to her. Anybody who has a young child knows what I’m talking about. They see and ask about everything. No child regardless of their age should be subjected to those images.

I believe that words convey the issue just fine. When workers are on strike I know why by reading their protest signs. I don’t need a picture to help explain it to me. However, if you must display a photo to get your message about abortion across to people why not use a photo of a living child. Show what a gift it is to have a child. I know that these images affect me more than an image of an aborted fetus. It would be wonderful to drive down Gillett Street in Grand Chute and see the image of a child instead of what I see now, an image that disgusts me and does nothing but make me cover the eyes of my child.

I don’t question your right to protest. I simply ask that you examine your methods. Is it really necessary?

I loved watching Brett Favre play the game of football as much as anybody else and I'll miss seeing him play the game the way only he could play it on Sundays.

I would have loved for him to return for one more season, but he desided that it was time to hang it up. Why can't we respect that decission?? Instead of being greatful that we were all able to watch one of the greatest players to ever play the game, and that he played here for the Green Bay Packers we cry about why isn't he coming back. When you decide to retire do you want somebody to ride you about why you're retiring? I would think the answer would be no. You decided it's time, it nobodies decission but yours. Brett Favre made a decission to retire, lets all learn to respect that decission. If he decides at some point that he wants to return to the game of football that will be his choice to make.

I personally think he made the right choice. In the game of football Brett is not a young man anymore. He is getting out of the game with his health and on top. Super Bowl or not he left at the top of his game and he will always be remembered as the little boy in the mans body. He made us all remember it's a game.

I wish him well. Thank you Brett for all of the memories. You will be missed.

Well I sit here today feeling a little special. My ex-wife told me the other day that a few of my old coworkers check out my blog from time to time. I guess I should start out by saying hi guys. It's just too bad that they never paid this much attention to me when I worked with them. Oh well what are you going to do?

Well today I think I'll ramble on about life, or rather enjoying life. Something my former coworkers need to learn.

So with my former coworker in mind lets start with step number one, leave work at work. We spend a good majority of our lives at work. Why would you want to take more time out of your life thinking or talking about work all the time? Start enjoying the time away from work. Use it to recharge. Get a hobby, you know like needle point or something else that's relaxing. Spend time with your families and remember that they are more important then any job.

Step Two is the most important. If you don't have step two you'll never have step three. Love yourself. Not in an arrogant way. Love yourself for who you are. Don't dwell on stupid things like I'm too fat, or I'm not attactive or other things like that. It's who you are, not what you look like or what you have. When you're gone people will remeber the person inside, the other things will not matter. If you can't love yourself how can anybody else love you?

Step number three is enjoy today for today. Everbody thinks they have forever. I have a question for you. How long is forever?? Don't live for tomorrow, it may never come. The old saying "Why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?" should be changed to "Do everything you can today because there might not be tomorrow." Let the people in your life know that you love them and care about them, patch things up and forgive those that you have had troubles with. Today might be the last chance you have to do that. They say you should live everyday like it's your last and they're right. There is no tomorrow, there is only today.

So that is my Dr. Phil type lecture for today. I hope my former coworkers enjoyed it along with anybody else who happened to read it. If not I forgive you, because it might be the last chance I get. I think you all get the point.

The following is a letter I wrote to the mayor of Appleton. He hasn't viewed it yet because it was just sent today. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll read this blog.

February 19, 2008

Mayor Timothy M. Hanna

Appleton City Hall

100 North Appleton Street

Appleton, WI 54911

Mayor Hanna,

I would like to express my concern over the dress code of the Appleton Area School District.

I have three children who are currently enrolled in the school district, and my fiancée has a child enrolled in the school district.

My concern with the dress code has nothing to do with the content it has to do with the lack of enforcement of the dress code. My fiancée  contacted the administration at Appleton North High School where she works, and the Superintendent of the school district about the matter and was told by the Superintendent that enforcing the dress code would be too much work because enforcing it would involve taking people out of school. If that is the case then why is there a dress code?

I think the first problem I have is that we are teaching our children that it’s ok to ignore the rules. Section 443.1 of the Appleton Area School District code for students clearly states what is expected when they attend school. The students of the school district are or should be aware of this rule. They are also aware that the schools don’t seem to care that the rule exists.

Section 443.1 clearly states, “Students may not wear scanty/revealing clothing.” My fiancée works in the lunch area at Appleton North High School. She tells me that there are girls at Appleton North that dress in scanty/revealing clothing on a regular basis. How is it possible that she observes this and school staff members do not? I would have to say that it’s not a matter of them not observing it. It’s a matter of them choosing to do nothing about it.

Section 443.1 also states “No attire with messages or symbols that include profanity, violent or sexual language/actions are allowed.” My fiancée told me that on Monday the 18th a student came into the cafeteria around 11:30AM wearing a shirt with “BLEEP you wankers” written on the front of the shirt. Now the last time I checked the first word of that sentence is profanity yet not one school staff member did anything about it. I believe that the school opens at 8:00AM. I can’t understand how for 3 ½ hours the student wore that shirt without anybody saying a thing. Who knows how long she wore it after that.

Section 443.1 also addresses coats and gloves. It states that these items must be kept in lockers or coat storage areas. It also states that students are required to wear appropriate footwear. Why is the school district concerned about coats, gloves and shoes when they allow students to attend school in pajamas and fuzzy bedroom slippers?

I have two concerns about students wearing baggy clothing, and their pants down around the butts. Now there are two rules in 443.1 that I feel address this issue. The first is “No attire with a gang related purpose is allowed.” I think most people would agree that this style and way of wearing cloths started out with the gang culture. I personally see kids wearing cloths like that and my first thought is “What a little gang banger.” I think it’s safe to say I’m not the only one that thinks that way. Plus why should other people in school be forced to view somebody’s underwear. There is a reason it’s called underwear. That’s because it is suppose to be worn under the pants.

My second concern I believe is addressed by the rule stating “Any attire or accessory which by it’s design, use or intended use, could cause bodily harm, property damage, or intimidation to other persons, may not be worn.” The rule does go on to give examples of the types of items. Now you may ask, how does wearing baggy clothing violate this rule? Well I have enclosed a CD containing a video clip that should answer that question for me. In this clip you will see a student remove from his cloths twelve firearms that are not visible to you when you first view the student. One of those firearms is a shotgun. Now I believe that is a major safety concern. I don’t think I have to remind you of what is going on in the world today. Just turn on your T.V. and you can see for yourself. At what point does the Appleton Area School District become proactive about these problems. Having a police school liaison is a great thing, but it’s not enough. Imagine one man facing the weapons pulled out of the cloths of that student. Imagine how many students, and staff could loose their lives when that student opens fire on the school. It’s time to stop saying “It doesn’t happen here.” It’s time to make sure we take measures to insure that it doesn’t.

School is not a fashion show. There are reasons for having rules of conduct in the school system. I think it’s time the schools enforce those rules. I think it’s time the school system revises those rules and makes them stronger. I was in an airport in Louisville, TN two summers ago. When I arrived at the entrance to the boarding area I was asked by security to remove my boots. Now I thought to myself “ Why do I need to take my boots off, isn’t that what the metal detector is for?” I did however take my boots off. Why? It’s a rule. If security personnel at an airport asks you to take your boots of you better or you’re not getting on the plane. I think that is the attitude that the school system needs to take.

These may seem like little things to be concerned about. Just remember these little things turn into big things when nothing is done to prevent it.

I would be happy to discuss these concerns you. My fiancée would also be willing to discuss them because she witnesses these problems everyday. We would even address the common council if needed. 

 Cc: Appleton Common Council Members

 Appleton Post-Crescent

I have removed my name and my fiancee's name because what fun would it be if you knew who I was. To view the video that I referred to in the letter go to the following link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ade7dO8dmd4

I have had the words of my mother ringing in my ears for about the past month.

When I was growing up she would always say to me "someday you're going to be blessed with a child just like you." Of course I would laugh because I was a kid and to be honest I wasn't thinking past the next day, and I certainly was not thinking thirty or so years into my future. Plus in my opinion I was a pretty cool dude.

Well as you may have already guessed that day finally came. I have a daughter who is 17 years old now. Her whole life everybody always said "she's just like her dad." At the time I thought that was great. You see at that point in my life I didn't know that I suffered from a medical disorder.

Those who have read my posts in the past already know that I suffer from bi-polar disorder. For years I had no idea why I did some of the things I did.

About six years ago I was told by serveral councelors, doctors, psychologists, and psychiatrists that I had the disorder. Of course like many bi-polar people do in the begining I dismissed the fact that I had the disorder. Many of us do because part of the disorder is a manic stage where we are happy. The problem is we're over happy, but none the less we're happy so we think there's nothing wrong. I didn't do anything about the problem until this past year. I am 42 years old now and I look back at my life and realize all the things that I did because of the disorder. Now I'm not saying every bad thing that ever happened to me was because of the disorder, that would be a little overboard and we can't blame all of our problems on it. But there were a lot of things that I see now that were due to it.

Anyway I don't want to get off track. My daughter started having some trouble in the past 2 years. Her mother and I have been divorced for a long time now. My daughter and her brothers were pretty young when we split. None the less my daughter was always a good student and really never got into trouble, at least nothing that other kids don't do.

When she went into high school her grades started to fall. Of course I thought it was just because she was making the adjustment to high school. But I was also starting to see a change in her attitude. I of course figured well she's a teenager now. We used to be very close but we started to drift apart around that time. Her mother has physical placement, but we have joint custody. Unfortunately I'm always the last to know anything.

As things were changing for my daughter I of course could not figure it out because I was in denial about my own situation. She was acting out toward her brothers. There were situations where she got angry and took off with vehicles and didn't have a driver's license. She was having some major problems. She did start going to a councelor because of these problems.

I always talked to my kids about things. I didn't want them going out into the world without knowing what it was really like. We also had the talk about sex and the why's and why not's. Well that talk didn't work with my daughter. She got pregnant at 16 years old. I found out about it 3 weeks after everybody else. Needless to say like most fathers I wanted to hunt down and kill the young man responsible. I of course eventually calmed down and did realize it takes two. It of course was not the timing I would have liked, but everything happens for a reason. She had the baby and did keep it. I am glad that she did because(and I don't want to get into a debate) I personally don't believe in abortion and in this situation it would have been wrong. I also didn't want her giving the baby up for adoption, because whether the timing in her life was right or not the baby was still part of our family. Anyway, we got through all that.

In the past month or so she was having some serious problems. I was told by my daugher that there was talk by her councelor and her doctor that she might be bi-polar and have A.D.D. of course I again found this out weeks after. It was suggested that she see a psychiatrist. Well I found out an appointment was never made. My fiance'e after hearing this was the one who made the appointments with my daughter's family doctor and a pyschiatrist. We went to her medical doctor who again indicated she believed my daughter was bi-polar. She did not want to start any medication until my daughter saw the psychiatrist.

There had been some issues with her boyfriend(the babies father). I stopped by the house one Friday night because her mother was on her honeymoon. When I got there I found my daughter in a complete breakdown. Now I realize that when people are having realationship troubles it can be upsetting, especially for teenagers. This however was beyond that. I was there until 3 A.M. trying to calm her down. I was finally able to calm her down enough to get her to go to sleep. Her 18 year old brother, who is a very responsible young man said he would keep an eye on her and would call me if anything happened.

The next morning I called my daughter to see how she was doing. She was in the same condition as the night before, and to be honest I think it was worse, It was so bad that I called my fiance'e and told her to get my daughter on the phone and keep her on the phone until I got there. It was so bad that as I was leaving my apartment my fiance'e called a said she was on her way to my daughter's house because she was worried something bad would happen.

We both arrived there and found my daughter in an extremely depressed state. She was crying uncontrolabley, and just very upset. We put her in the car and took her to the emergency room.

Now God love doctors, but in this type of situation it has been my experience that ER doctors really have no clue. They come in and ask the two famous questions, "do you feel like hurting yourself and do you feel like hurting anybody else?" If you say no they send you on your way. I guess what the forget is that when people are going through these situations that's when they become suicidal. Well as you may have guessed that's what almost happened in this case. The doctor was going to send my daughter home without doing a thing. That is until I stood up, looked him in the eye and told him we were not leaving that room until he got a psyciatric doctor down there. It was amazing how fast they had one on the phone. I guess being 6'04" and 260 lbs comes in handy sometimes. The psychiatrist prescibed some medication and made an appointment for my daughter to come in 2 days later. This was the same psychiatrist that we had made the appointment with.

Well to make a long story short, and I realize it's too late for that the psychiatrist told my daughter(you guessed it) she was bi-polar. He did a great job of explaining it to us. I even learned things that I didn't know about it. He perscribed medication for my daughter and scheduled a follow up appointment. He also told her we wanted her to call in a week so he could see how the medication was working. He also wanted her to have blood work done to check the levels of the medication. So we left and I was relieved because my daughter was getting the help she needed and I was glad that she would not have the kind of life her father had.

When all this was going on my daughter was staying with my fiance'e because we wanted her to be somewhere where we could monitor her and take care of her. My apartment is not big enough so my fiance'e said my daughter could stay there. My fiance'e loves all of my kids very much. She is more of a mother to them in most cases then their real mother. I'm not saying that their real mother doesn't love them, but without sounding bitter she's clueless. Well my daughter wanted to go home so she could be in her own room where she was comfortable.

I took her home and her and her mother got into it right away. Her mother wanted her out of the house. My fiance'e came over to try and settle things down. My ex-wife wanted my fiance'e to call the police and have them remove my daughter from the house. This wasn't supprising because my ex-wife never wants to be the bad guy. Anyway things settled down and my daughter was allowed to stay.

Well at some point my ex-wife became mother of the year, and we found out that my daughter was no longer taking her medication and she had not called the doctor and didn't have the blood work done. I talked to my ex-wife about the medication issue and she told me that our daughter was not bi-polar and that I was destroying her life. I advised her that our daughter was told by a psychiatrist that she was bi-polar and asked when she received a degree in psychology. I was told that my daughter was not going to take any medication until she saw the doctor again. She stopped taking the medication two weeks before this conversation and her appointment was two weeks away. So we were looking at one month without medication.

I tried talking to my daughter about the medication. I was pretty much, no I was told I had no idea what I was talking about. My daughter is convinced now that nothing is wrong because she's feeling good now. I have tried and tried to get her to take her medication because I know the potential dangers that exsist. She is now to the point that she doesn't want to talk to me or see me.

I went to several agencies to try and get help. I have been told there is not much I can do. I love my daughter very much. I am left now with the hardest thing for a parent to do. That is to let my daughter go and wait until she falls on her face and hits rock bottom. When that happens you can bet her mother wont be the one picking up the pieces.

So mom you got your wish. I understand now as I watch my daughter repeat the mistakes of her father. It was hard to live through, but it's harder watching your child live through it and be helpless to do anything to stop it. It's hard watching your child and thinking about how different your live could have been if you did something about it, and thinking about how they're walking down that same path.

I know God never gives us more than we can handle. But I have to say it's pretty close. I just pray every day that he opens my daughter's eyes, and protects her from what could happen without treatment.

Well thanks for letting me ramble on. May God bless all of you and keep you safe.

I would like to start by saying that I really wasn't sure what section to post this under, but since it does deal with an agency of the government I will post it here.

Now this little blurb has to do with child support. Now I just want to say that I have no problem with paying support. I love my kids and want to make sure that they are taken care of. I think that fathers should pay support, and mothers for that matter if the court orders it. It's your responsiblity as a parent.

The issue I have is this. Why is there no system in place to assure that the money paid for child support is actually being used for the children. Child support is right on top of things when the support is not paid. If you fall behind in paying you can be sure that you will not see a state tax return, or a lien may be placed on your vehicle. What happens when the money is not being used for the children?? As far as I know nothing. That is because there is no system to my knowledge in place to monitor it.

I have talked about this issue with several fathers who pay child support. It seems to become a topic of discussion when divorced fathers get together. These are all fathers who love their children, that actually spend time with their children and are involved in their children's lives. I hear stories about how the kids have little to nothing at home yet mom is out at the bar all the time, or out buying new cloths or things of that nature. Instead of the money going to the children it's being used as fun money. If the father calls child support well nine times out of ten he's treated like a criminal and told there is nothing that can be done about it.

Now I understand that there are many things that are required to take care of a child and that doesn't just involve feeding them and putting cloths on their back. I realize that it includes putting a roof over their heads and other things. But why is there no system to show where the money goes?

My girlfriend and her son receive death benefits because her husband was killed eleven years ago. She is required to show where any money goes that is taken from her son's benefits. She has to show that the money was used for her son. Now that seems to make sense to me. If Social Security can do it then why can't child support??

Now I will leave you with a personal tale that still confuses me. Now in some cases it's not supprising that I get confused, but in this case I'm not the only one that said "WHAT."

I have three children with my ex-wife. Now they are getting older. My oldest son turned 18 and will be off of child support when he graduates in June. Anyway, my ex-wife got remarried(God help him, sorry I had to say it) this past January. She lives in Appleton and her new husband lives in Sheboygan. Now is it just me or is something wrong with this picture??

Now I was born at night, but it wasn't last night. I have a sneaking feeling that is has to do with child support. She knows that the kids would not want to move to Sheboygan, they have to many things in Appleton that they wouldn't want to give up. They are all old enough to say to the court "I want to stay here with dad." If they did that well she would lose a pretty good chunk of change in support. They both have jobs. My concern is that my child support will now become their fun money, especially since I found out they are planning a trip to Hawaii. Now this trip may be coming out of their pocket, but how do I know that. If there was documentation of where my support money went, well then I would have no reason to be concerned. But at this particular time I have to be.

I pay my support. I'm not some dead beat dad. I want my kids to be taken care of and would put their needs ahead of mine without a thought. I think that those of us that pay child support should have reassurance that the money is being used for it's intended purpose.

Well I've vented now. Trust me I'm not bitter, I just wonder why. If there is a way that child support is monitored please let me know so I can retract this blog.

I sit here today realizing that I've been the world's biggest jerk.

I have been dating the most wonderful woman in the world. I love her with all of my heart. I would never want to hurt her. The sad part is that I did.

I have dealt with insecurity for the better part of my life. I also found out that I suffer from a bi-polar disorder. I have been treating that disorder with medication. It's an one going battle and we are still increasing the doses because I am still having problems.

With regard to my girlfriend. I have had trouble dealing with the fact that she has male friends. I trust her and I know that she would never hurt me. Yet I forced her to cut ties with those friends. Of course this put a major strain on our relationship. She did it for me anyway.

The sad part is that my insecurity didn't stop there. I started checking her phone calls and emails to see if she was still in contact with those friends. I totally betrayed her trust. Yet she is still here. Today I was upset because I found out that one of those friends sent a forward (not even a regular email). Rather than stopping to think I called and left her a message about it. After stopping and thinking about what I was doing I called back calmer and told her I was wrong to ask her to give up her friends. Unfortunately the damage was done. She was very angry with me and ready to end our relationship, and may very well decide to do that. Although she has given me yet another chance.

I have hurt and betrayed somebody I love with all of my heart. I can never take that back. The thought that I didn't trust in her makes me feel like garbage. She has been through so much in her life. I was supposed to be something good in her life, not the cause of pain.

So for others out there in a situation like mine. Remember, stop and think about your actions. Is it worth hurting the one you love over your own insecurity? You can never take it back once it's done. If you love them and trust them then show them that.

May my girlfriend and God forgive me for my shortcomings and may God give me strength to not repeat them. May he also help to heal the damage I have done.

As always I was watching Good Day Wisconsin before I left for work this morning. I saw the story about all the money that the Salvation Army received in donations. A short time later I spoke to a woman who went to the Salvation Army in need and was turned away because she "made to much money."

The woman is a single mother. She's a single mom not because of divorce or because the dad ran off, or that she doesn't know who the dad is. She's a single mother because her husband was killed several years ago. She didn't want to be a single mom. She has always put her son first and has gone without so that he is taken care of. She is truly one of the best mothers I know. She shows her son more love than two parent families do. She's not some deadbeat mom that is spending her money in the bars or on things for herself.

The day before Thanksgiving she was cleaning in her son's room and tripped causing her to fall on a toy box. She wound up going to the doctor and found she had broken ribs. Due to the nature of her job she was unable to work for a little over two weeks. Not because she didn't want to (I know because I drove her to her doctors appointment and watched her beg him to let her return to work) but because her employer stated she couldn't until the doctor stated she was at 100%. I understand the employer’s position on that and that is not the issue. The woman has no short-term disability and to be very honest a health insurance policy that really is worthless. Anyway, because she has been unable to work the past for week she received a check today for ZERO dollars. This means that she has no means to by food for her son until her next paycheck in two weeks.

I know you're waiting for me to come to my point.

The woman went to the Salvation Army today to try and get help so she could feed her son. She was told she couldn't be helped because she makes too much money. I can tell you for a fact she's not even close to making too much money. If the Salvation Army thinks that, I would like them to give me directions to this dream world where I can live and support a family on nothing. She wasn't asking for a long-term assistance, she was asking for food to get her and her son through two weeks. She didn't blow all of her money on alcohol and drugs (because if she did I’m sure they would have helped her). She was injured and couldn't work.

Every year I throw my money into the little red kettles. When the folks in their nice little uniforms come asking I give what I can. I do this so people in need might be helped. As of today I have thrown my last dime into anything that has to do with the Salvation Army. I’ll put it away in my own little kettle so someday if I run across somebody truly in need I can give him or her the relief they need.

Thank you "Salvation" Army. It's nice to see what kind of compassion you really have. Especially during a season when we were all granted true salvation. 

I tried to post this as a comment to that blog but it didn’t work so here goes.

I agree it is time for a change.

With regard to the Omaha, NE mall shooting I have to say this. I’m not convinced that having a person with a licensed firearm there would have changed a thing. It is without saying a very high stress situation. One that most people have never trained to handle let alone handle where they have to shoot somebody. Law enforcement officers train to perform under stress on a regular basis and it still isn’t enough. The average person would most likely freeze in that situation. The bottom line is that somebody who has made up their mind that they are going to kill is going to do just that.

With regard to the adults taking charge I agree. But let’s not lay the blame entirely at the feet of the government or the school systems. Let’s start by looking a little closer to home, or should I say in the home. Parents have lost touch with their kids. In today’s dual income families parents are not as involved with their kids as they should be. We complain about the television shows today, the video games, the music and the list goes on. The question is what are parents doing to stop it? If you don’t think that something is appropriate for you kids then do something about it. Turn the channel; take the game whatever the case may be. I don’t believe that people kill because they listen to heavy metal music, or because they played a video game containing violence. I believe they do it because they had a mental disorder of some type that went undetected or was ignored. Parents need to talk to their kids and find out what’s going on in their lives. Give them guidance and get them help if they need it. Don’t just ignore the problem and hope it goes away as they get older. Trust me it’s not going away.

As far as the media is concerned, if you’re not happy about what your seeing let them know. They broadcast what the people want to see. As long as you keep tuning in they’re going to keep showing it. I guess if it’s not appropriate for our kids then maybe we need to ask is it appropriate for us to watch. At what age is it ok for somebody to watch killing and violence on television? If you’re watching it well your kids are going to watch it. It must be ok because mom and dad do it.

Our society has changed. But what have we done to stop it? We’re just going through life with our blinders on and when something happens we blame somebody else. Take charge at home and raise your kids. Don’t hope that somebody is going to do it for you, or that they’ll figure it out on their own. When your kids are building bombs in the basement and you don’t have a clue well I think there’s a problem there.

So that being said yes, adults start taking charge.

Maybe it's just me but as I think back on growing up and my childhood, I remember a day when professional athletes were actually people you could look up to. In the world of sports today however those athletes are getting harder to find.

It seems like every time I turn on the T.V. there is a story about a pro athlete suspected of using steroids, or being arrested for a fight at a strip club, or violating the league rule for substance abuse. It just never seems to end.

I know that everybody makes mistakes in their lives, even pro athletes. I believe that everybody should have a second chance to make their lives right. Two prime examples of that are right here in Green Bay. Brett Favre, and Koren Robinson. The thing that I admire the most about these two individuals (and not just because I'm a Packer fan) is the fact that they stood up in front of the world and said hey I have a problem. Then after they said it they did something about it. Brett Favre has stayed clean for years, and though it's early for Koren Robinson I believe he will follow the same path.

But the world of sports seems to be filled with more athletes that just don't care. They do whatever the want because they think they are above the rules that govern society. They get placed on suspension from the league and while on suspension continue to get in trouble. When they come back they revert right back to their old ways.

I believe that the new NFL Commissioner Roger Goodall has sent a message to these athletes that their behavior will not be tolerated. I hope that he sticks to his guns and continues to send that message. I believe that it is also a message that we as sports fans should be sending. That we don't care how great of an athlete you are, if you can't follow the rules we want nothing to do with you. I think we need to stop and say, "Yes he's a great athlete. But do I really want my child idolizing him?"

No, it's not a pro athletes job to raise my kids. It's my job to teach them right from wrong. Wouldn't it be nice though if they didn't see some two-bit gangster making big dollars just because they can play a sport. Wouldn't it be nice if our kids could have heroes like we did?

Well it's getting to be that time of the year again. Time for those slippery roads.

I'm always amazed how many people that have lived in Wisconsin their whole life seem to forget how to drive in the winter. Of course they have an epiphany as they spin off into the ditch, or slide into the vehicle in front of them. But it's a little late at that point.

So everybody drive safe this winter. For those of you in those 4 wheel drives I'm happy that you can get going better than the rest of us, just remember it's the stopping part that gets you.

I'm all for supporting the American worker but lets try to give those guys at the auto body shops a little less to do this year.